I recently was reading some excerpts from Dr. Brene Brown’s work. It reminds me of the Dalai Lama's words and what I have heard from my friend, Geshla Tashi. These thoughts are condensed and as succinct as I can make them right now.
Barriers to Love
Everyone wants to be loved. We make it complicated by putting barriers up for ourselves. The belief in unworthiness to be loved is shame and that creates a need for protection from vulnerability. Dropping these shame barriers creates vulnerability by being authentic. Connections can be created as a result of vulnerability. A willingness, a courage to acknowledge imperfection is needed by having compassion for self and others. Instead, oft times vulnerability is numbed. By numbing possible bad feelings, all feelings can be numbed. (Consider that we are the most indebted, obese, and addicted generation in history) Joy, gratitude, and happiness are lost. In both politics and religion, because mystery and faith is too vulnerable, certainty is embraced. Ambiguity and compromise is vulnerable and is extinguished. Instead, to breach the barrier, there must be a belief that you are good enough to be loved. Decide to be self revelatory without guarantee, and to practice joy, gratitude, and happiness. Don’t be tied to some imagined outcome but to the truth of your life.
The Courage to be Vulnerable
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”--Theodore Roosevelt, 1910 speech
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